Sickness

I have a sickness and it's name is Batman. Well, animated Batman, access to Amazon and a credit card. I just bought all the seasons of Batman Beyond and the movie. Impulse buys have never been so ready to kick your ass.

Seriously though, what was I thinking?

So Many Beginnings

So many new things have started up recently; it's weird after doing nothing for a month to suddenly have to focus my energy on something specific.

But first, an UPDATE! The attic cleaning went very well and I'm happy to report that after a week or so of seriously obsessive work the attic is actually an attic again and not a dump for crap we don't want to see around the house anymore. I should have taken before and after photos. I don't know why I became so obsessive over it this break but if I had to psychoanalyze myself I would say that the attic represented my brain and that I had to clean it out and reorganize/restructure it so that it could be more useful. I should get started on the kitchen then…

 

Okay, so beginnings. There have been quite a few beginnings recently, especially in the past week. I joined WeightWatchers with my mom, the process was weird but I think it'll work well for me because I am the sort of person who needs a system. I can't just wing it unfortunately. So far so good though, I actually count points and whatnot. I'm glad I cleared out the attic; there is more room for yoga now.

Also in beginnings, school has started up again. This semester the classes seem to be heavily participation oriented instead of a more traditional lecture and discussion format. It'll be an adjustment but the subjects are interesting so it shouldn't be too difficult.

 

Other than that, I went to a Self-Defense class with my mom and sisters. It was both empowering and saddening because so many women have been the victims of violent attacks that these sort of precautions and preparation are necessary.

So Much Dust

I've become slightly obsessive-compulsive lately and I decided to try and focus that energy on something useful. So my latest project has been cleaning out our attic and trying to make it useful. The only thing practical up there is a weight bench (covered in stuff), a stationary bike (slowly being consumed by stuff), and a TV ( I think you know where this is going). My plan was to turn this mess of a storage room into a sort of fitness area but the whole mission is difficult because the people in my house are not helping. I don't mind that they are not assisting me in the physical process of moving things around, what annoys me is that they are impeding progress by not allowing me to throw things away. It's so frustrating that we have 4 old computers (including a Packard Bell-> Educate Yourself) and I can not throw them out because they might have "important information" on them and they may still work. First, there is nothing on those computers but the Sims and Dad's crappy first person shooter games. Second, we never bought anything online with credit cards until now and no one would freaking bother to try and get those computers to start up anyway. I wish I did not live with pack rats sometimes.
Another problem I'm having is that they don't understand why I'm cleaning out the attic in the first place. I honestly do not understand the question. What is so wrong with wanting somewhere to work out or read or whatever? The place was a mess and I probably could have thrown away a ton of crap without anyone ever noticing or realizing it. It's so hard to try and change things when people around you just dig in their heels because they don't want to be bothered. I never asked anyone for help so I don't see what the big deal is other than they can't just go upstairs and throw crap around anymore.

ugh

Trying to Get Ready

It's too early to start worrying about 2009 I think. I mean, it's never too early to plan things but it is too early to start worrying in my opinion.

I feel like I should be busier though. I'm on a long break from school right now, but I've already ordered my books and now I feel like I'm just sitting on my hands waiting for something to start. My aunt and I are doing a craft fair this spring so I should probably start designing and knitting/crocheting, but I'm feeling oddly uninspired. I blame the tilt of the planet.

 

RESOLUTIONS:

1. Get my damn license. This is pretty self-explanatory. I've been driving more this week then I have in the past 2 years but I have to be able to get myself independently now that I don't live on campus.
   
2. Become a competent seamstress. I've made a couple of things, but I really want to be able to sew and make things on my own.
   
3. Get healthy. It's weird that I'm so anal retentive about having things in a specific order when it comes to my work and hobbies but when it comes to me and what I put into my body I'm pretty lax and, honestly, lazy and sloppy.
   
4. Be awesome. Accomplished.
   
5. Read more. I hate not reading or reading stuff that is just really bad. In the past week I've done pretty well, I read "The Graveyard Book" (Oh Neil Gaiman, do you ever fail me?) and I'm currently reading "Some Danger Involved" which is about private investigators in the Victorian Era in London, investigating Jews.
   
6. Pay for school. This is going to be difficult and is going to involve some long term planning skills. This resolution is really just about this semester and next semester. It should be easier now that I'm living at home again and not having to pay exorbitant amounts of money to live in a shithole.
   
7. Procrastinate less, do more.
   

That's about all the resolutions I can make. I'm a big fan of lists but I don't want to over do it this early in the year.

Library Misadventures

Anything with the word "adventures" in it is sort of misleading when it comes to working at a library. Sad but true.

That said I do enjoy roaming around our modest collection and finding the most gross/random/outdated/insulting titles that this fine establishment has to offer. Today, I bring you "My Secret Life". So basically this guy who calls himself "Walter" (not Fitzpatrick?) kept a journal of his numerous sexual exploits in almost offensive detail. I would say I was really disturbed except I've read Harry Potter "fan fiction" (aka destruction of everything you've held dear) before so nothing can really shock or appall me. Seriously, this book is pretty disgusting. I understand reading it to compare what is described in the book to the stereotype of what the Victorian Era was really like but this is just an excuse to read a bunch of bawdy vignettes. However, if you feel the need to explore Walter's whores and farm girl experiences, feel free to pick up "My Secret Life". That seems like a rather ironic name.

 

Other than reading random Victorian porn, I haven't really been up to much. I may be moving out of my current residence soon and, if I play my cards right, into a residence of my very own. I made my class schedule this morning, once again it was traumatic beyond words. I was able to make it so I had quite a few days during the week that I could use to work. Now I just need to find a job…

 

Man I want a corgi.

What the Hell September

Oh how things have changed. I feel really bad for not updating more often, I just feel like I've been appallingly busy and apathetic in turn. I've gotten a new job (campus library) but I still feel like a slacker for the most part.
For example, I have an Ethics exam tomorrow and I should be practicing my essays and studying but I'm just so tired and it's only 8:15.
In other news, I've decided to try and sew my own Halloween outfit so we went to Joann's and all they had was "slutty (fill in the blank)" so I'm going as slutty Little Red Riding Hood but I'm going to make the skirt longer and add an underskirt. I think, I haven't started yet. I kept telling my mom while we were shopping "It's okay, Joni did 4H" when mom asked if I thought I could handle this. I hope Joni's experience helps, ha ha.
I miss the Wii.

Changes

Hm, I seem to have abandoned this poor journal for a while. Things have been so hectic lately. For example, Sam and I moved out of our dorm room and into a town house with 4 other girls. It's nice because we have more freedom, but it's also a challenge because it's like a re-learning process to live with all new people.
On top of everything else the physical plant people didn't get a chance to inspect/fix things before we moved in so there is just a huge list of crap that's wrong with this place.

1. We have no door for our bedroom
2. There was a rusted out hole in our sink, but they replaced the sink...with one that didn't fit into the counter so now we need a new counter.
3. We have ants in the kitchen behind a cabinet with no food in it
4. One of the bathroom lights is broken
5. A light in the kitchen is flickering on and off like a strobe light, nearly causing seizures.
6. The internet/cable in our bedroom is crap, making it almost impossible to do/avoid homework

Oh well, I suppose it's like every first shitty apartment.

I keep thinking of things to talk about here and yet, I always forget them.

First Day(s) of School!!!

Wednesday officially marked the first day of school and I have to say it did not start off too well. I think it was stress, but I couldn't fall asleep until 2 or 3 in the morning and when I woke up at 8 to go to breakfast with Sam/Clare/Joni/Becca I was still not feeling swell. I didn't have Ethical Theory until 11 so I made some calls looking for a work study job. Then Perception and Developmental Psych went by in a blur of syllabi and no AC.
Tuesday/Thursday classes are going to be waaaaay more interesting. First off, I have Childress again and I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me which is probably for the best as she scares the crap out of me and spending more time with her even noticing my existence would only cause stock in Depends to rise. I'm taking her Nationalism in the Middle East class and it should be educational as I know nothing about the Middle East other than it exists. After that I have Psychology of Personality and I can not explain how much I'm going to love that class. I'm not even going to try. I will say that I love Nicolai and I loved her class last semester even though I never got my research paper back. I wasn't going to do anything with it anyway.

It's off to class for me.

ALMOST First Day of School

So move in was mostly painless, unfortunately I forgot a ton of shit (of course), but I was able to move in with just five milk crates and a suitcase with my clothes in it. I decided to pack light this year because I had too much crap last year.
The room is pretty sparse although we did manage to purchase a futon and a rug. Thank God for Walmart, I'm too poor even for Ikea. I've decided to decorate with some knitted birds. I plan on making a bunch in different colors and hanging them from the ceiling. Check it out:Super cute, eh? I think they will be delightful once they're done.

I finally decided to look at the schedule of my classes and OMG I am a flaming incompitent when it comes to making a schedule. Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays I have three classes and they are close enough together that I can't do anything useful but far enough apart that it's almost stupid to go back to the dorm. It's annoying. Oh well, I'll have to learn to deal with it.

At least my room is much better this year even though it's on the same hallway in the same building. I have to say though seeing one of my hallmates ass in the bathroom was really unnecessary.

I wish my comic book collection was larger :( .

It's Almost Not Tuesday

So Zoloft it is.

I have almost finished Sam's birthday bear but I am too tired to continue. I still have all day tomorrow I guess.

Nothing happened today other than finding out that my textbook for Perceptions is out of stock at the bookstore. I may end up buying it off of Amazon. I do not feel like spending 102$ on this stupid book.

Today is Monday

I have almost nothing to say.

I finally got a copy of a knitting book that I've been looking for. It's called "Unusual Toys For You To Knit And Enjoy" by Jess Hutchinson and apparently it's like the Holy freaking Grail or something if you knit and you think you're a hot shot, modern knitter who knits things to be an ironic hipster fucker. I like the patterns in it and I'm currently working on a bear for Samantha's birthday. The colors are pretty hilarious (pink body, white sweater, and baby blue pants) and I love the proportions of the actual toy. That's my biggest problem with most toy patterns, I just don't like the shape but I lack the skills necessary to make my own patterns. I need to work on that because I have some bad ass ideas for some critters.


The bear pretty much resembles a bowling pin at this stage. I like knitting but I'm generally against the fact that I have to sew on limbs/ears/what have you after. I'm just a sloppy finisher and I blow at embroidery. All things to work on in the future I guess. Setting goals, etc etc etc.

I went to the doctor today and got a tentative diagnosis but I'll have to wait and see another doctor in a few months and probably a third in addition to that. Ah, what a pain in me arse.

I move back to the lovely Corcoran housing facility on the 16th, Sam moves back on Wednesday so I could probably move in some things when she's around. I'm actually pretty excited for classes to start on the 20th. I feel like summer has been relaxing but really boring so it'll be nice to be on campus and actually doing things instead of plotting ways to blackmail Ryan Seacrest off the air. I hate that man.

Spatulas.

Proof that Joan (sewing machine) is now my bitch

Hey there sexy skirt! It's adorable in my opinion. I made it in a class at Urban Arts and Crafts. It was not a race, but I did finish first. Laura came in at the end of the class and looked around and said "Mwahaha, you won!" That's why I love her. That and she modeled the skirt (see below).

Look at my messy room and cute sister and dog. Oh yeah, the skirt is pretty fly too.

I want a knitting pattern book so I'm going to the library tomorrow so I can get one (or thirty). It's going to magical since I have a scanner to preserve the patterns for later use. I'm pretty sure that's unethical but I have no scruples so whatever.

Last thing, Beer Belly Bunny!

Link

I love the internet. Mostly I love finding free knitting patterns and pretty art. Stumble has been so helpful in this regard. I'll now share some cool stuff I've stumbled across:

A pattern for a knit Squid . It's pretty freaking cute.
A knit cat . This chick is pretty fantastic.
ELEPHANT

Enough knitting for now. More pretty pictures:

Gorgeous
Paper has never looked this cool
I love these so much. There is something so beautiful and sad about abandoned cities.
Totally my style and therefore perfect.

The Breast Cancer Walk was today but I have no photographic evidence I was there. You will have to take my word for it. Some of my favorite shirts included: "Save 2nd Base" (website) and "Great Boobs are Worth Fighting For".

I hate cancer and people who try and start arguments.

Onward and Upward.

Epic Battle

Every time I start a new hobby/craft project I realize what a pain in the ass they are. For example, I've been knitting for about a year now and I still have apprehensions every time I start a new project. Lately it's been zombies and trying to create a robot pattern that actually looks like what my robot doodles look like. As frustrating as knitting can be, at least I can put something together for that feeling of satisfaction.

Sewing seems to be a different story all together. I've always admired people who could actually sew clothing, bags, place-mats, etc so it seemed the logical choice for my next hobby. This machine is a bitch. I don't even have a name for her yet, but I know it's a girl and she's always PMSing and she hates me. I spent at least 35 minutes trying to thread the fucking thing. I will admit that it's my fault some pieces fell out but I put them back in their proper places. I even busted out the damn manual to confirm that I wasn't a flaming incompetent, but alas, the machine wasn't going to go willingly.
On top of the machine tomfoolery, I've realized that I cannot cut or sew in a straight line. I am incapable. This is really no surprise as coloring inside the lines has always been a slight (see also: major) problem for me. Next time I go out to Jo Ann's (or Johann if you're Laura)/Hobby Lobby/whatever I need to get a straight edge ruler and damn rotary scissors (looks like a pizza but it's not, or so I'm told), that should help.
Most of all when I was wrestling with the machine I kept wishing I had asked Nonna how to sew when I was younger. I remember getting to work the pedal to make her machine run, but other than that I was too busy doing anything else to learn. It's one of my bigger regrets.

Anyway, once more into the bitch dear friends. This machine cannot win.

Classes

I had to register for classes online at 8AM this morning. I had nightmares about not getting into classes and being locked out of the system. It was ridiculous.

I only have two weeks of school left and I just want it to be over. I have one more big assignment to do and then I can just focus on finals and getting out of here. Moving out of the dorm is going to be strange. I feel like I've accumulated so much crap here.

I have to get rid of $800 worth of meal points in three weeks. It's ridiculous.

Sorry

I'm a bitch.

Anxiety

I'm out of school in 3 weeks.

HOLY CRAP.

I have to finish a research paper and for some reason it is freaking me the hell out. I have plenty of articles/sources for it and I am interested in the subject but I cannot put it together. I'm so useless.

I'm moving out all my non-essentials this week. I'm hoping the sparseness will cause me to work.

Sometimes I wish I had been on more road trips. There is something absolutely perfect about the idea of a road trip. It's a completely personal and individual activity that you can do with other people.

Sometimes I wish I could leave everything and move into a tiny small town. There is something absolutely perfect about the idea of being a small-town hermit. I could never leave everyone behind.

I had a terrible, terrible dream this weekend and it was really upsetting. I hate not being able to talk to people about these things.

SPATULA

ANXIETY

Going to bed early is a recipe for crazy

I read an article recently that said that if you are stopped from having REM cycles while you sleep (lack of sleep, crazy psychology professor poking you, whatever) you end up having a super long REM cycles when you're allowed to sleep normally. That is the only explanation I have for last night's dream. Here are the parts that I remember:

I was in St. Stephen's Academy's gym (ah, the ol' alma mater) and my family was there and some kids I went to high school and grade school were there and so was Ellen Page, and apparently some kids from Harry Potter. The gym is really crowed and people are milling around and I was talking with my sister and I see people CHUCKING other people around the gym. I turn to my sister and say, "This is such a weird event" and Laura says "Yeah, it really is. I'm next." So she gets up and throws some kid, like she's throwing a shotput or something, but different form. Suddenly I see Garrett Smith and I tell him "God, this is the most bizarre track meet ever." He just shrugs (that kid never speaks) and goes on with throwing kids. So it's my turn and I get up there and grab the closest kid and it turns out to be the chick who plays Ginny Weasley in Harry Potter, Bonnie something I think, and I just sort of throw her into the pit (shot put pit, not Pit of Despair or anything). After that I went over to talk to my mom, I think she was conducting guitar practice and Ellen Page is sitting on the floor and all I said was "I thought you played bass?" So I left, and went outside and I was talking to Danni Lacotta's mom and suddenly it's a different dream.
In this one I am some guy who is trying to convince a bear to attack a junk shop in post-apocalyptic Kansas City. The bear was all like "Look man, I don't even bother with you people anymore" and I /the guy just wanted some more chaos I guess.

Needless to say I woke up perplexed.

ETA: I took a nap this afternoon and I spent most of my dream trying to stop my mother from nuking Voldemort because he was holding a werewolf ambassador hostage. What the hell?

Mutha-Fucking Shower Etiquette

I despise public bathrooms. It's too the point of being almost ridiculous. Regardless, living away from home has caused the necessity for using public restrooms on a daily basis. All I ask from the 19-20 year olds I live with is to respect the FUCKING BATHROOMS. When you leave shit (here, I'm talking literally) just floating away like a goddamn submarine in the toilet, that is fucking gross and rude. Also, when I am taking a shower DO NOT fucking get in the stall next to me when there are plenty of empty ones, asshole. Grow up and be polite you asshats.

I gave my knitting speech today. I have no idea how I did despite the fact that he gave me a "grade". It's either an F or a 1=. I'll have to ask on Thursday. I was nervous so I was a little sassy. I get a cocky attitude when I'm nervous and have to speak in front of people. Oh well, a girl in my class said I did well, so that's good.

I started watching Battlestar Galactica. I feel...more nerdy somehow. I like it.

Jealous much?

I see pictures like these and instead of being disgusted or creeped out, I'm mostly jealous. This is not a glamorous lifestyle by any means, but I'm still amazed at how these people live. It's a pretty honest way to live. You don't have much it seems materially, but you're also not a slave to your iPhone or you're newer slimmer laptop with wifi and frappachino maker. I don't know, maybe it's my 12-year-old self trying to get out and runaway but a life lived by your own rules is really envy-inducing.

On that note, I got a new phone. It's pretty bitching.